


Compulsion

by rankwriter



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-14 00:38:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4543524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rankwriter/pseuds/rankwriter





	Compulsion

**Introduction**

 

The man made his way across the yard, keeping to the shadows. If anyone had looked out of the window, they would have seen nothing, except maybe a tree branch moving in the breeze. The tree branch may have looked sinister, long and thin, like a twisted, emaciated man, or resemble the child-catcher from Chitty Chitty, Bang, Bang. It could have been easily dismissed as an imagination playing games, but this was one instance where it was not. The man was dressed all in black, and had blackened his face too, with some face paint or makeup. He didn’t want his normal skin tone giving him away. After all, he was on a mission and he was intent on completing it. He made for the trees at the edge of the yard, knowing this was a good viewpoint for he had scoped the house out several times over the last few days. He was ready now for the final operation. 

 

He could see the family through the window; a mom in an apron was stirring something in a pot and the dad at the table was reading the paper, but the object of his mission was innocently sucking the tip of his pencil as he read a book. Hell, the agency that was paying him would cream their shorts for this one. He was cute as a button. Small for his age, with large eyes and plump lips. Yeah, this one was a prize, and at seven years old he would be easy to mold into whatever his employers wanted. 

 

The dark man watched as the kid looked up and smiled at something the dad said, his eyes sparkled and the smile lit his whole face. “Enjoy, little one,” the man thought. He knew it wouldn’t be long before the boy had nothing to smile about. Yeah, this little kid would have a long hard life ahead of him. The man felt a twinge in his heart, but he shut it down; he needed the money and now wasn’t the time for sympathy. People were going to pay big time for this kid and who knew? Maybe the kid would end up with someone who treated him well. The man inhaled sharply, the knowledge that this was unlikely to happen crawled down his spine like an icy spider.

 

The man moved back into the shadows and waited. He was good at waiting; he had spent a long time doing just that. He was patient, it was one of the reasons the agency employed him. He was dedicated and had yet to make a mistake. In his line of work that was important, one false move and he could bring down a lot of important men.

 

Time passed as the man watched the family. Eventually they retired to the living room, and later as the boy went to bed, he still watched. Finally the mom and dad retired and the house went dark. Still he waited, the only sound in the quiet night was his slow, even breathing. 

 

Even though the house had been dark for two hours, the man waited until his internal clock told him it was time. He went to the back door and with a wiggle of the lock pick, he was in. He knew the layout of the house well; he had studied the plans in minute detail for several weeks beforehand. He could find his way around blindfolded if need be. He was fastidious with his planning, he had only been caught off-guard once and that had been because someone in the house had completed some amateur renovation and had turned one of the bedrooms into two. That farce had been the only time he had nearly been trapped. He had still managed to acquire the target, but it had been a close call.

 

His eyes were well adjusted to darkness so he moved through the residence as silent as a shadow. The house was small, but tidy and well appointed. They had spent time decorating and making it nice, but they hadn’t taken the care to install a security system. The man thought they would spend many months, maybe years, regretting that choice. Although even if they had, the man would have had no trouble bypassing any alarm they had chosen, and yet, even then, they would blame themselves.

 

The carpeting was thick and plush and so muffled any sound his shoes were making. He walked past the parent’s room without pause and made his way to the boy’s room. The door opened without a sound and he could see the boy in the faint light that seeped in around the curtains. He looked smaller, younger, tucked under his Dallas Cowboys duvet cover. 

 

The man paused for a moment and looked at the boy, he could feel his heart sinking in his chest. The boy was so innocent, and his mom and dad obviously loved him. He felt sad miserable, tearing this family apart, but if he didn’t then he would be in deep shit, and at this moment in time it was every man for himself.

 

He took the auto-injector out of his pocket and removed the end cap with his teeth, then put the injector against the boy’s skinny arm, pushing to release the dose. The boy’s eyes shot open and the man covered his mouth with his other hand. He felt the boy’s warm breath against his palm change from panicked panting to the soft, regular respiration of the unconscious, he watched as the fear and intelligence in those moss green eyes dimmed and they slowly closed. 

 

The man reached down and brushed the young boy’s hair from his forehead; the strands were soft under his hands. Then he picked him up and held him against his chest. The lad smelt of sleep and was a warm, comforting weight in his arms. With a heavy heart he left the room knowing the young boy’s life would be irrevocably changed, forever.

 

Eleven years later.

1.

“Jensen, you’re wanted in the director’s office.” Chad shouted into the rec room. Jensen felt his stomach lurch. Being summoned by the director was rarely, if ever, for anything good. Last time he had ended up leaning over the desk, his trousers around his ankles, while the director gave him six of the best. Jensen couldn’t remember what it was for, but most likely something trivial; probably being late to a meal. The director seemed to enjoy the punishment aspect of his job a little too much, so any excuse he could come up with seemed to lead to corporal punishment. Jensen had noticed a swelling in the director’s crotch after the punishment and a lascivious look on his face. He was pretty sure the director wanted to test the goods and only fear of reprisals was stopping him. Jensen felt sourness in his belly at the thought. 

 

Feeling his heart race, Jensen knocked on the door, listening as he was bid to enter. His hand slipped a little on the rounded doorknob so Jensen quickly wiped the sweat on his pants and entered. 

 

The room was remarkably pleasant, considering some of the things that went on in there. It was light and airy, wooden floors, polished to a soft hue and the walls were painted in light neutral colors. The desk, the one that Jensen had an intimate knowledge of, was a huge mahogany beast, and there behind it was the imposing figure of the Director. The man was tall, but slender, with quick, knowing eyes. His hair was more grey than brown now, thinning, and it accentuated a slim, unlined face. His lips were the feature that drew the attention. Full lips on such a thin face looked odd, the lips themselves always reminded Jensen of two slugs. 

 

The Director smiled at Jensen, making those two slugs move in a disgusting way, like they were dancing or mating. Jensen felt acid in the back of his throat.

 

“Sit, sit,” he said and gestured to the chair in front of the desk.

 

At least he hadn’t been told to remove his trousers this time; thanking God for small blessings, Jensen tentatively sat on the edge of the proffered chair and waited. He could feel his anxiety ratcheting up and he rubbed his sweaty palms on his trousers again. 

 

“Well I have some excellent news,” the Director said, smiling. The smile sent shards of ice down Jensen’s spine. The Director’s idea of good news and Jensen’s were entirely different. “You’ll be meeting your new master soon, within the week in fact.” The Director rubbed his hands together, his smile seemed more real and the slugs crawled and rubbed together indecently while his eyes danced.

 

Jensen tried to drag his eyes away from the odious display. All the blood ran from his head, he felt light-headed and panicky. Of course he had known this was coming, but he had ignored it and had firmly believed that if he didn’t think about it then it would never happen. 

 

“Isn’t that good news?” the Director continued. 

 

Jensen had the wherewithal to nod, but his feelings were the exact opposite.

 

“You will love him, of course, and I firmly believe this will be a good match. You will be seen by the doctor tomorrow so that he can program your chip, and then you will be predestined to fall in love with your master.” The director smiled, a beaming smile, he looked genuinely happy, and he looked to Jensen as if he would feel the same.

 

Jensen couldn’t speak; this was all too horrible, a chip that made you obedient. That chip took away your free will and turned you, for all intents and purposes, into a mindless slave. 

 

Jensen had been at the unit for eleven years and he had experienced all kinds of training in subservience and sexual practices and even so, he knew this was all kinds of fucked up. He drew deep within himself and managed a weak smile in return. He didn’t want this, but once his chip was programmed, he wouldn’t know that. So did that mean he would want it? It was so confusing. Jensen had seen boys and girls leave the unit and they had all had one thing in common. They all looked happy; they were all either fawning over their masters or mistresses, or looking at them with abject love. Jensen just wished that he could feel real love instead of the synthesized love he would feel once his chip was tweaked.

 

The Director got up and walked around the table, he put his hand on Jensen’s shoulder and squeezed. It felt remarkably intimate. 

 

“Jensen,” he said, “you were always one of my favorites, I’m sure you will make me proud.”

 

Jensen felt a pulse of revulsion at the contact but kept the smile frozen on his face.

 

“You can go now,” the Director continued, “pack your stuff. You’ll be leaving soon after the chip has been programmed and we will make the necessary arrangements. Take tonight to say goodbye to your fellow inductees, just in case he is able to take you sooner rather than later.”

 

Jensen nodded and rushed for the door, the Director’s hand slipped down his arm in a final caress. With a fumble of the doorknob, and a roll of his stomach, Jensen was free.

 

The institute had been Jensen’s home now for more than a decade, but he still hated the place. The mentors and guards were all sadistic fucks. The mentors in particular had enjoyed the sex education far too much. Thankfully none of them had been allowed to touch students, and the numerous video cameras ensured that they didn’t. Jensen didn’t doubt for one minute that had they been given an opportunity some of them would have taken advantage of their position. 

 

A creepy dude, Lehne, had once managed to corner Jensen and force his penis into Jensen’s mouth. The guy had been gone the next day and Jensen wasn’t sure whether he was fired or whether something more permanent had happened to him. Lehne had tasted disgusting and Jensen did not want to do that ever again. But he knew that he would have to once he was transferred to his master. The boys in the institute had plenty of practice with fellatio, albeit with dildos, but Jensen now knew that sucking a piece of plastic was a far more pleasant experience than sucking a real dick. 

 

The very worst thing about the Institute was their honesty. They had told the boys that once they reached the age of eight they would have a chip implanted in their necks and this chip would be programmed to make them want to please their masters and it would in effect make them fall in love their masters. Jensen wished they hadn’t told him that; if they just implanted it, and introduced him to a man, and Jensen found he loved that man, then he wouldn’t have to go through this suffering while waiting. It was, he thought, an unnecessary cruelty.

 

Jensen had vague memories of a life before the institute. He could remember his mother as a beautiful woman, who would hug him every day. He missed those carefree touches. Now every touch was mandated. He didn’t want to think about that, of the years of training he had endured, it made him feel sick. Chasing those thoughts away he tried to think of better times. He thought of his dad, he had called Jensen ‘sport’ and Jensen had really liked that, he wished someone would call him sport now and tousle his hair. He felt stupid and childish, but those small things would make him feel better… Jensen hugged himself as he looked round his small, cell-like room. 

 

He shared this room with Chad, who was annoying as hell, but at least he was company. He hadn’t drunk the Kool-Aid yet either, he still distrusted everything that was going on at the institute. Jensen did too, but others, they were brainwashed or something. Jensen thought maybe it was their chips, but he had a chip too and he still wanted to escape from this awful place and the terrible future that they promised him.

 

Jensen sat on the edge of his small and uncomfortable bed; he put his head in his hands. He knew that these people had stolen him from his parents; he could still vaguely remember the man that did it. What he remembered most was that the man was black, like really black. In Jensen’s mind he called him the dark man. His clothes were black and his skin had been painted. He was a scary man, with cruel eyes, and he had brought him here, to this horrible place, where they had done awful things to him. He didn’t know why that man had chosen him and not some other boy, but he had, and now Jensen lived here with other boys who had most likely been stolen away as well. 

 

If Jensen had thought about it he may have noticed that all the boys were attractive in some way: some had blond tousled hair, like Jensen, or curls and freckles, cute button noses and big blue, brown or green eyes. The kids that lived in the institute could have been child models, and most grew into attractive teenagers. But if they didn’t, if adolescence was cruel to them and their features became gawky and unattractive, or if they got acne, or grew too tall, then those boys disappeared. Jensen didn’t know where they went, he didn’t think they had gone to their masters, but perhaps they had. Jensen really hoped so as the alternative was too devastating to contemplate. 

 

In the beginning when he had first arrived, Jensen had tried to escape, but had been caught each and every time. His ass had been beaten black and blue on each occasion, but it hadn’t stopped him from trying. In the first year he had tried at least once a week. That was until he had his chip installed. Then whenever he tried to leave the institute, when he even got near the door, his head would be crippled with such pain that he would collapse. Eventually he had stopped trying. Now he was going to be leaving the institute for the first time in eleven years. He just wished it were under nicer circumstances and maybe from his own free will.

 

Jensen’s stomach clenched; he was going to be meeting the man, or woman, who would have control over him for the rest of his life. They could do whatever they wanted to him, and his job was to make them happy, do whatever they demanded. He would, of course he would have no choice, and his chip would be programmed so that he reacted to his master in a loving manner, in a subservient manner. These sickos probably couldn’t get the sort of partner they wanted in their day-to-day lives so they had to buy one from the institute. When did owning a human being become a thing someone could do, surely slavery had been abolished? Jensen wondered if he would ever be free. By tomorrow, he probably wouldn’t even care anymore.

 

The intercom blasted out its three-note intro and then a pleasant female voice announced: “Jensen to the Doctor’s suite, immediately please.”

 

With his heart somewhere in the region of his throat, Jensen walked slowly to the doctor’s office. The doctor’s suite was at the back of the institute, almost in a separate building, adjoining the main area of the structure by a corridor. Jensen dragged his heels as he went. He didn’t dislike any of the doctors; they had always been kind and gentle during any examinations he’d been forced to have. Now though, now one of them was going to program his chip and take away his free will forever. Jensen felt tears prickling at the corner of his eyes and a sharp heaviness in his sinuses. He forced them back; there was no way he was going to cry now. He still had his pride, at least for the next few minutes anyway. 

 

The doctor beckoned him into the office virtually the moment he knocked at the door. The office was set up like a bay from a hospital. Jensen knew this because he had seen similar on ER, a television program he had loved, and not just because George Clooney was hot. 

 

He gestured for Jensen to get on the table and lay down face first. The table had a crafty hole where your face would lie so Jensen arranged his body and awaited the doctor. 

 

“Well Jensen, I guess this will be our last appointment,” he said as he bustled around the room before pulling the laptop table so it swung around until it was close to Jensen’s bed. “Remember what you have learned here; always make sure you are prepared every morning, just the way you’ve been taught, and it will make your life so much easier. You won’t react to pain in any way, as your prime directive is to please your master, so it is in your own best interests to look after yourself.”

 

Jensen felt the cool hand of the doctor on his neck, pressing his fingers in until he felt the outline of the chip in Jensen’s neck. He ‘hmmed’ as he turned back to the computer and tapped some keys, Jensen felt an alarming buzzing in his neck and flinched. The doctor’s hand returned and rubbed soothingly. “Shhh it will only take a moment,” he said and the buzzing intensified. Jensen could feel his whole body shuddering and then suddenly the buzzing reached an apex and the pain shot through his head and down through his whole body. Jensen felt his bladder release and the stench of urine filled the office.

 

The doctor tutted as he turned to tap again on the keyboard and muttered under his breath, “thank goodness the couch is plastic.”

 

Jensen felt his consciousness return in stutters and starts. He became aware of his aching head first of all, then his wet trousers. He felt his face heat; he hadn’t wet himself since he first came to the institute when they had thrown him into solitary and hadn’t allowed him even a bucket to do his business. He had held out so long that the pain was excruciating, before he had finally let go of his bladder. The humiliation in doing it again burned almost as much as his face. 

 

The doctor turned and looked at Jensen, “Well that’s it, you’re all done and ready for tomorrow.” He smiled in an almost fatherly way, “remember what I said, preparation and plenty of lube, that’s the way to go. Now hurry off and you’ll be just in time for tea.”

 

Jensen climbed down off the couch, his wet trousers and underwear clinging uncomfortably to his body. He made his way back to his room quickly, grateful he didn’t bump into anyone on the way; that would have been the ultimate humiliation if one of the other boys had seen him with wet pants. He grabbed some clean sweats and boxers and rushed to the shower. Once there he quickly shucked his soiled clothes. He then jumped under the warm spray. He didn’t linger long as he knew he would be in trouble if he didn’t get to dinner on time. Once he had cleaned the drying urine from his skin, he dried and dressed in haste and dumped the filthy clothes in the laundry on his way to the refectory. Funnily enough, Jensen didn’t feel any different than he had before his visit to the Doctor; he had a slight headache and that was all.

 

The refectory was buzzing with conversation, it was hard for the mentors to keep thirty boys of differing ages quiet, although they certainly tried. They ruled the institute with a rod of steel, and there probably wasn’t a boy in that room that hadn’t experienced some form of corporal punishment. Somehow, it hadn’t made them be any quieter though. Jensen made his way to his usual table and sat down next to Chad and opposite Colin, who was probably one of Jensen’s closest friends next to Chad.

 

“I hear you’ve been chosen!” Chad exclaimed, and Jensen nodded, sullenly.  
“Well that’s cool isn’t it, at least you’ll be out of here,” Chad nodded excitedly. “Of course it also means that you’ll end up falling in ‘love’,” he made little speech marks with his fingers, “with your master, or mistress, but let’s be honest, the odds are you’ll end up with some pervy old man.” 

 

Jensen felt the knot in his stomach tighten and all the blood in his head rush out. He grasped the edge of the table to stop himself falling off his chair. Chad wasn’t saying anything Jensen didn’t already know, but hearing it said so starkly was horrifying. 

 

“I know you don’t want to hear it,” Chad continued, “But forewarned is forearmed, and I suppose in the end it doesn’t matter because you will be happy with him, no matter what he does to you.” Chad sighed and looked up towards the small window. They were too high up for anyone to look out of, they were at least seven feet off the ground, but sometimes Jensen could glimpse a swatch of blue sky, or some rolling grey storm clouds. “I just wish,” he continued, his voice was wistful, “that one day we can be free, free from these stupid chips and free from whoever they sell us to.” 

 

Jensen took Chad’s hand. Social touching was frowned upon but as Jensen was leaving in the morning, he couldn’t care less. “Me too, I wish that above almost anything.”

 

“And I’ll miss you, smelly feet and all.” Chad added, and Jensen knew that was Chad’s way of expressing his feeling through a bad joke.

 

“Do you think we’ll ever see each other again?” Colin asked and Jensen noticed he had tears in his eyes. Colin was younger than Jensen and Chad, he was thirteen and very beautiful, but it was his sad eyes that made him so compelling.

 

“I hope so,” Jensen said, and he could feel tears welling up in his own eyes too. He wondered if he did see Chad and Colin again, whether he would even recognize them, and then he wasn’t surprised when a tear trickled down his cheek. He didn’t even bother to wipe it. 

 

After dinner the boys were sent to do private study and Jensen went to his room to pack. He didn’t have a lot of stuff, Jensen imagined that his master would provide whatever clothing appealed to him, but Jensen packed his few pairs of sweats and his one good pair of trousers along with his tees and sweaters in his rucksack. Then he lay on his bed and waited until lights out were called. 

 

Jensen couldn’t imagine actually sleeping, his heart was racing too much and his mind was mulling over everything. He wanted so desperately to know who his master would be. Years of training, years of preparation were all over and in a matter of hours he would meet the man who would control the rest of his life. From the age of seven he had been preparing for this, he had been told that a man would get a special bracelet and that bracelet would send signals to his chip and he would want to make the owner of the bracelet very happy. Jensen wondered whether he, himself, would ever be really happy again and if his chip told his brain he was happy, did that actually mean he was? It was all so confusing.

 

Against all odds, Jensen fell into a fitful sleep. He felt warm and cozy, as if he was in front of a roaring, real fire. It was strange because he could almost hear the firewood spit and crackle as it burnt, and he could smell the wood smoke too. The acrid stench hit the back of his throat and he awoke, coughing, to realize it wasn’t a dream after all. There was smoke seeping in around his door. With his heart beating erratically, Jensen jumped out of bed; he was still dressed in his sweats, having not bothered to undress previously. He touched the door handle, and was relieved to feel that it was cool. He opened the door slowly and saw that the corridor was filled with smoke and there was an odd yellow glow coming from the direction of the refectory and the kitchen beyond. 

 

He could hear the boys now, some were screaming and others were sobbing. Jensen knew he had to get away from the fire and he shouted, “Chad, Colin,” before his lungs protested and he started coughing. Getting low to the floor he crawled towards Colin’s room, he could hear Chad exiting the room behind him. 

 

The smoke was thicker here and Jensen could hardly breathe, his eyes were streaming and his lungs were screaming. “Colin!” he shouted, but it came out as more of a gasp. Ahead through the smoke Jensen could make out a boy with his clothes on fire, screaming piteously. Jensen knew he couldn’t make it to the boy, the smoke was too dense. Colin’s door was open and the room was empty, Jensen didn’t have time to look further; he could only hope that the boy had managed to escape. Then he turned and looked at the burning boy and his heart stopped, it was Colin, he was sure of it. The flames were licking their way down the corridor towards Jensen so with tears streaming down his face, he turned and fled in the opposite direction, towards cooler, fresher air. Chad was just ahead. Jensen couldn’t see any other boys, but he could still hear Colin screaming until the sound petered out and then stopped. Jensen pushed Colin from his mind, he either tried to escape or sat down here and waited for the fire to do its worst.

 

“Come on,” Chad said, grabbing Jensen’s hand and dragging him down towards the classrooms. Jensen knew there was an exit down there, but he also knew it was locked. All doors in the institute were locked. It was like a prison, a high security one at that. 

 

Chad reached the door first and tried to open it. It was locked of course, but that didn’t stop him from yanking on the handle and kicking and throwing himself at it.

 

“It’s no good,” Jensen said, putting a hand on Chad’s shoulder, “the door is made of steel, there’s no way we can break that down.” 

 

“How the fuck are we going to get out of here? I’m not going to burn to death because a bunch of pervs wanted some boy toys.” 

 

“This way,” Jensen said, dragging Chad, further into the building. He remembered that the principal had a window in his office, a large window that didn’t appear to have any bars on. If they could break into his office then they might be able to escape.

 

The smoke was catching up to them and Jensen could feel his lungs burning with effort as they ran down the corridors to the principal’s office. 

 

The door was incredibly sturdy looking. Jensen grabbed the handle and twisted, but unlike the last time he had been here, the door didn’t budge. 

 

Jensen looked about frantically, there were other doors further down the corridor, doors he had never seen open, doors to other rooms he wasn’t sure what they were used for. Chad was one step ahead of him he was frantically trying one after another. 

 

“They’re all locked,” he panted, looking at Jensen with panic in his eyes. Jensen’s breath was coming in desperate wheezes and he knew he had to calm down or else they would both surely perish. 

 

“This way,” he said and dragged Chad further down the corridor. Ahead he could see steps down, and really they had no choice, so they clambered down the stairs. These lead to another corridor, this one darker and shabbier in comparison to the passages upstairs. It was cooler down here, and the air was fresher. Jensen thought initially it was because it was lower down, but at the end of the passageway was a steel roller door, like a large garage door. Jensen reached down to pull it up but noticed the large padlock. In frustration he kicked it and it fell to the floor. Jensen didn’t stop to consider what idiot had forgotten to lock the door, or had failed to click the lock into place; he just counted his blessings and yanked the door up. It opened with a rusty groan and cool, night air rushed in.

 

“We’re free,” Chad whispered his voice mirroring the incredulity that Jensen felt. 

 

Jensen looked at Chad and smiled but then his thoughts turned to the other boys. It was strange; there were no guards, or mentors around. There had only been the boys, left behind in the fire. The staff must have evacuated and had no concern about whether the boys lived or died. Jensen didn’t want to think too much about that now, certainly not with that image of Colin dying fresh in his mind. He knew they had to get as far away from the institute as possible, and they needed to stay under the radar.

 

Jensen grabbed Chad’s hand and pulled him from the building. Sense memory found him waiting for the excruciating pain that normally followed taking even one step outside. Weirdly though, nothing happened. Not even a twinge. Maybe the fire had knocked out whatever equipment caused the pain, or maybe the doctor had turned it off when he had programmed his chip. Jensen cast a glance at Chad, he was stumbling behind, he didn’t appear to be in pain either, but then Chad had never caused any trouble as a child so maybe they hadn’t hooked him up in the same way they had Jensen. It didn’t really matter, all that mattered was that they were free, and Jensen was going to make sure they stayed that way.

 

Jensen thanked whatever God was looking after them for the fact that he had been able to watch so much television; he had a good idea how to keep them safe, and he knew exactly where he was going. He was going home. He was going to live his life well, he was going to live for both him and Colin, and now he let the tears fall. He knew there was a possibility that the institute might look for him, but he also thought that perhaps they would think that he had died, burnt up with all the other bodies, and if that was the case, as long as his family didn’t go to the police, he should be safe. 

 

 

2.

Gerald Padalecki was feared by his staff, but loved by his family. As cruel and officious as he was at the office, he was loving and kind at home. Today he was in a foul mood though; neither his work colleagues nor his family could bring him out of it. He had a secret too, a secret he kept from his staff and his family. He liked young boys, not too young mind you, he wasn’t some kind of pervert for God’s sake. He just had a healthy appetite for young, adolescent, male flesh, which his wife couldn’t possibly satisfy. It wasn’t her fault and it didn’t mean he loved her any the less, but sometimes the urge got really strong and he needed something more. 

 

That was why he joined the club, they provided what he needed at special club nights, but better than that, they had introduced him to a man who could get him a nice willing toy of his own that he could keep at his apartment in town. He had been so looking forward to touching that young, accommodating body that he had been half hard since he had seen the boy’s picture in the catalogue. Then he had received that phone call. They said there had been an incident, that all the boys had been lost in a terrible fire, and that he would have to wait for a new toy. 

 

Gerald was fuming. He didn’t want to wait; he had waited long enough after all. He would have to go to the club tonight and take his frustrations out on one of the club boys, but it would be a pale substitute for having a boy of his own. He fingered the bracelet, which was cunningly fashioned as a watch. This innocuous piece of hardware would have meant that his boy would have been desperate to please him. Gerald felt his cock swell; he had seen a photo of the boy and he had been exceptional. He had beautiful green eyes, that looked so innocent, and luscious lips made for pleasing a man. He could imagine the boy on his knees, taking Gerald’s cock and looking up at him through his eyelashes adoringly. Dammit of all the bad luck, and now he would have to wait, God knows how long, for a boy. 

 

Gerald rubbed his shoulder; it had been playing up of late, he had probably been a bit too energetic yesterday when he had played tennis, but he had to take his frustrations out on something. Gerald took another look lovingly at his watch; so much potential had lead to huge disappointment. He was shocked when he noticed the time, he was meant to pick Jared up in a ten minutes and he wouldn’t get though the downtown traffic in time. With a huff he grabbed his jacket and rushed out the door, absently rubbing his left arm as he went. 

 

3.

Once the boys were outside, they both doubled over, gasping at the fresh night air, and coughing out the foul smoke. Eventually when Jensen felt less like his lungs were burning, he looked up. It looked like they were in an industrial area, the institute looked like an old factory or warehouse from the outside. It was an ideal prison: there were hardly any windows, and those that it did have were high up and small. It was also remote; although there were other buildings nearby they appeared derelict. Jensen could hear distant sirens and he grabbed Chad’s hand and dragged him away from the institute. They hid themselves in the shadows behind the wall of the adjacent factory. Jensen didn’t know why it was important to hide, but he had a feeling and it was important to trust his instincts. He gestured to Chad to be quiet and he nodded his understanding. 

 

Crouching together for warmth in the shadows beyond the wall they could hear the arrival of the emergency vehicles, their sirens were screeching and their lights cast a blue flashing haze over the surrounding area. 

 

“You think it was kids?” Jensen heard a gruff voice say. “I can’t see how else an empty factory would go up in smoke.”

 

There was no answer until a distant call of alarm was heard. “In here, there are children…” Then Jensen heard the distinct sound of vomiting. To be honest he felt like vomiting himself. Every time he closed his eyes he thought of Colin and how he had died horrendously in front of him. Jensen knew in his heart that he would never forget the sound of those screams or the smell of burning flesh. It wasn’t just Colin who had perished, Jensen was sure of that. Although he hadn’t seen any of the other boys die, neither had he seen them escape. Could it possibly be that only he and Chad survived? They had been in the room that seemed furthest from the fire, but that was of course was just luck. 

 

With Chad snuggled in his arms, against all odds, Jensen drifted off to sleep. He must have only dozed for only a few minutes, yet when he woke every muscle and joint in his body ached and he yearned to stretch; but the fire service and the police were still present. He could hear snatches of their conversations,

 

“What the hell do you think was going on here?”

 

“White slavery?”

 

“They’re so young…”

 

“Someone should be held responsible for this.”

 

“Do you think they are still around here? I’d like to get my hands on them, just give me five minutes with them. I have a son that age,” came one disgusted voice.

 

“Get the dogs, we’ll search at first light.”

 

Jensen’s heart quickened and he knew they had to get out of here, and now. 

 

He caught Chad’s eye as the blue light flickered across the rubble-strewn yard, and he grabbed his hand as they crept away as quietly as possible. Luckily, for their escape the emergency services were not being quiet themselves so the odd crunch of gravel or cracking of glass was smothered by the other noises. 

 

Jensen wasn’t sure what to do. Thoughts were running around his head: they had no money, no ID. His best idea was to try and find the town center and hope it had a homeless shelter, or at least somewhere warm they could spend the night. They might be able to pass for homeless teens, which in fact they were, and in the morning they could make some plans. If they could find a retail area there was bound to be a phone booth, and they could use the directory to find out where it was best to go. 

 

By the time they got to a main road Jensen’s feet were bleeding and he suspected that Chad’s were too. Chad was quiet though, which was unusual for him, but Jensen understood. What was there to say? They had entered uncharted territory. Jensen didn’t know if there would be a shelter or what people would think of two teens, dressed in matching sweats and barefooted walking through town. Luckily it was the middle of the night and as they walked they passed only a few people and the couple that they did pass were either incredibly drunk or so self-absorbed they did not seem to notice anything peculiar about Jensen and Chad.

 

It seemed like they had walked for hours, in fact Jensen could see the knife-edge of dawn appearing on the horizon, when finally they saw some fluorescent lights in the distance, Jensen thought it was one of the best sights he had ever seen. Almost as one they started walking a bit faster, despite their feet aching and being torn. 

 

“What will we do when we get there?” Chad asked, breaking the silence.

 

Jensen shrugged, “Depends on what we find.”

 

What they found was a long straight high street. There wasn’t many people around, the odd drunk staggered down the road ahead of them. Then they noticed her -- An elderly lady, her hair was an erratic mess and she seemed to be carrying all her possessions in a shopping cart. She stopped Jensen by placing a grubby hand on his shoulder, causing him to start.

 

“You want St Andrew’s Mission, lad,” she said with a smile that displayed her uneven teeth, obviously not having seen a dentist in sometime. “This part of town is no place for a good-looking lad like you.” She tweaked Jensen’s cheek and then cast her gaze dismissively over Chad. “Walk down the road ‘til it splits in two, then take the right. You’ll see the church up ahead and the mission is right next-door.” Jensen felt relief flow through his body; truth was he had no idea where to go and had been flying by the seat of his pants. All he knew was that he and Chad couldn’t have made it much further with both their feet bloody messes, and this old, homeless woman was their guardian angel. He could have kissed her, if she hadn’t had such a ‘stay away’ aura about her. 

 

“The reverend,” she continued, “will look after you boys.” Then she turned abruptly, flaring her multi-coloured skirt, pushing her cart before her and was on her way. Jensen called out his thanks to her departing back but she made no gesture to suggest she had heard him.

 

Chad gave Jensen a relieved look. “Thank God!” and Jensen just nodded.

 

Within ten minutes they were outside the mission. The small squat building was adjacent to the grey bulk of the church. There were no lights on in either building, or at least none that could be seen from the street. Jensen hadn’t expected there to be considering it was so late. Preparing himself to wait until morning he slouched near the door, turning his gaze to Chad who looked just as exhausted and grimy as Jensen himself felt. Just as he was about the slide down the wall to sit on the floor, he heard a rattling, as the door was unlocked. It opened to reveal a short, slim man whose wispy hair pointed in all directions. He looked as if he had just woken, but his warm smile seemed genuine and Jensen felt tension he hadn’t even been aware of seep away. 

 

“Hello boys, I’m Reverend Smith, are you looking for somewhere to sleep?" 

 

Jensen nodded; he was so far beyond exhaustion that he couldn’t even form words. 

 

“Come on then,” the Reverend gestured, “we’ll sort out the technicalities in the morning, along with some clean clothes.” He looked down at their grubby, bare feet and added, “And some shoes.”

 

The Reverend showed them to a dormitory that seemed pretty full but he found them a couple of beds near the back wall. The beds were small dorm beds, but to Jensen they looked like the most comfortable he had ever seen. Chad and Jensen stripped quickly and snuggled beneath the blankets, too tired to even care that they were filthy and aching. The next thing Jensen became aware of was the murmur of background noise, which increased as twenty men awoke for the day. Jensen cracked an eye and felt remarkably rested, considering he had probably only had a few hours sleep; he looked over at Chad and saw that he was stirring too. Jensen looked around the dorm and he could see the other men getting up and talking amongst themselves. He could see a few of them were sneaking looks at him and Chad, but none seemed at all aggressive, and Jensen relaxed somewhat. The conversation suddenly quietened and Jensen noticed that it was because the Reverend had entered the room. The men were a motley bunch that would not look out of place in a documentary about America’s most dangerous prisons, but they looked at the Reverend with a mixture of respect and awe. 

 

“Good morning, I hope you slept well,” there was a series of nods and grunts in response to the Reverend’s question, he smiled then continued. “I’m sure you can see that we have two new guests, I hope you’ll make them feel very welcome. Now hurry up and get dressed breakfast is nearly ready.”

 

As the Reverend left the room the activity became almost chaotic. Men grabbed towels and toiletry kits and traipsed from the room, Jensen presumed they were heading to the bathroom. Jensen sat up and put his feet on the chilly floor, Chad did the same. Just as Jensen was beginning to wonder how he was going to clean himself, as he had no toiletries or towel, the Reverend return to the room with what looked like a pile of clothing, shoes and toiletry items.   
“Here you go,” he smiled. “I wasn’t sure what size you were, so I have brought a selection. Go and get washed up, the bathroom is that way, and I shall see you for breakfast when you are ready and we can dispense with the formalities then.”

 

The clothing felt warm and soft; Jensen could see jogging pants, a tee shirt and a sweater. All of it seemed old, but clean. There was body wash, a cheap toothbrush and paste plus a tube of deodorant. The Reverend had also left a selection of training shoes on the floor and they also looked second-hand but they looked around the right size. Jensen couldn’t wait to get clean. Jensen left the trainers on the floor, and he and Chad followed in the direction the other men had gone and down a short corridor they found a large bathroom. There were about eight shower cubicles along with some urinals and toilet stalls. The men were busy with their ablutions, but most welcomed the boys with a nod or a smile.

 

Jensen shucked his grubby clothes and went into one of the free stalls and turned on the faucet. The water was warm and steamy and Jensen felt it gush over his body, helping to sooth the aches of walking too far in bare feet. He soaped himself up with the body wash, it was some cheap, generic brand but to Jensen it smelt divine. As the grime washed down the drain Jensen felt like his past in the horrible place was draining away with it. 

 

By the time he finished cleaning his teeth and dragging a razor over his face, Jensen felt like a new man. His body ached and his feet were shredded so that every step caused him pain, but he felt clean and free.

 

Chad exited one of the shower cubicles and scrubbed his hair dry with a towel.

 

“Man that feels better,” he exhaled as he looked in the mirror. 

 

The bathroom was practically empty now, just Jensen and Chad and two other men who were finishing up, packing their things and as they exited one of them called out, “Hurry up you guys or you’ll miss breakfast, and it’s Sunday, it’s bacon and eggs today.”

 

Jensen looked at Chad. “Bacon and eggs sounds good,” Jensen said and Chad nodded. He looked a little bemused. Jensen squeezed his shoulder,

 

“After we eat, we’ll make plans, we’ll decide what to do. It’s all good Chad, this place, it gives us a breathing space.”

 

Breakfast was a noisy boisterous affair. Men chatted and joshed each other; all the while they piled their plates high with bacon and eggs. The Reverend had directed Jensen and Chad to the end of the table near his seat. 

 

“Tuck in,” he gestured at the food, “before these greedy devils eat it all. We only get a cooked breakfast on Sunday, so make the most of it. Now, what can I call you?”

 

Jensen loaded his plate with bacon, eggs and toast. All of a sudden he was famished. He looked over at Chad who was doing the same and smiled.

 

“Jensen,” He smiled and pointed at Chad, “Chad.” He was pretty sure they didn’t need to use aliases, at least not for their first names. 

 

“Well Jensen and Chad, here’s how it works at St. Vincent’s Mission, you have a bed for the night for however long you need it, food on the table so you don’t get hungry. All we ask in return is that you help us with chores and that doesn’t just mean keeping the church and the mission clean. We go around to parishioner’s homes and the men help them with jobs around the house. Particularly the elderly, things like yard work, and other odd jobs. Some of the men here have skills. John over there,” he gestured at a tattooed, older man, “he’s a trained plumber, and so he is passing on his skills to others. In this way we have a pool of men we can hopefully get back into the workforce.” 

 

“That sounds good,” Jensen said between mouthfuls. “We don’t really have any skills but we’ll turn our hands to almost anything. Won’t we Chad?”

 

“Yes Reverend,” he agreed, “We can cook, clean, do yard work. I’m sure we’re able to learn too.”

 

“Well that’s all I can ask of you. Now you notice I don’t ask you where you are from or why you left, that’s your own business. Here we have decided that we all deserve a fresh start.”

 

That was precisely what Jensen wanted, a fresh start, and here in this small mission it would appear he had got exactly what he wanted.

 

4.

 

Jared took his mom’s arm as they exited the car.

 

“It was a lovely service,” she said distractedly.

 

Jared looked at his mom, she was so pale and the dark bags under her eyes still showed through her immaculately applied makeup.

 

“Yes,” he agreed, “all his friends and even his enemies were there to give him a good send off.” 

 

In truth his father hadn’t been well–liked, hadn’t really had any friends, but his funeral had been well attended and the preacher had said some particularly nice, if not quite true, things about him. 

 

“I still can’t believe he’s gone,” his mom whispered as tears threatened to overflow. “He was so vital, never a day sick in his life.”

 

Jared patted her hand. He couldn’t believe he was dead either, and his mom was correct his dad had never been ill… hell Gerald Padalecki would never let himself be ill; he considered any illness a weakness and Gerald Padalecki was not weak. For all his bluster he had still fallen down dead of a heart attack on his way home from work. He hadn’t quite made it to his car before the massive blood clot blocked his coronary artery and two minutes later he had been dead. If he had survived, Jared imagined that he would have sued his primary care physician, he’d only had a physical six months before and Gerald hated incompetence almost as much as he hated weakness.

 

“I’m going to stay here a few days,” Jared said, he didn’t want to leave his mom alone, as she had had such a nasty shock. 

 

“Yes that would be nice,” his mom replied, distractedly. “And they are going to read the will tomorrow, your brother should be here by then. I still don’t know why he couldn’t make the funeral...” She sighed. 

 

“You know that he had to sort out the Henderson deal, there were some problems,” Jared clarified. There had been more than some problems: The Henderson’s were less than keen to continue their business with Padalecki Inc. after the death of it’s CEO and visionary, and it had taken some pretty quick talking by Josh to keep them on their side. Luckily, Josh had been more than up to the job. It wasn’t surprising really, Josh had always been Gerald’s protégée and Jared had been a pale imitation. Jared had worked hard and everything, but in the long run he just didn’t have the killer instinct. He was a good and wily CFO, and as long as he kept his nose in the accounts he didn’t have to worry too much about the small businesses that the Padalecki’s bought and discarded, or the numerous people whose lives were torn apart by their actions.

 

The next morning the house was buzzing, it was almost as if the house itself knew that wily Gerald would have the last word. Josh and his family had arrived early and now everyone was sat around in the great room awaiting the reading of the will. The lawyer, Mr. Snell, had been the family’s legal expert for as long as Jared could remember. He was small and ferret-like but he had a smart legal brain and Gerald had liked and trusted him. And that was enough for Jared. 

 

“Well now that we are all here,” he greeted, rubbing his hands together. “I’ll get down to business. This house,” he gestured at the family home, more of a mansion really, “Holmstead, I bequeath to my wife, she has always been a good and loving spouse and mother. I also leave her the sum of $90 million dollars and all my other worldly goods, save what is mentioned in the rest of this will and testament. 

 

“My son Josh I leave my townhouse in New York and the penthouse in Chicago. I also leave him my Bentley; I know you’ve always had your eye on it. I further leave the sum of $150m. 

 

“My grandchildren, Elise and Matty, I leave the sum of $50m in trust until they are both 21. 

 

“Finally my son Jared, I leave my beach house in Florida and my apartment in San Francisco, my Mercedes convertible, and the sum of $150m. I also deed you my watch, wear and enjoy.”

 

The lawyer gave Jared an odd, knowing glance then went back to the will.

 

“With regard to my company Padalecki Inc. I leave to my two sons split 50/50, I know you boys can work together, and I like that Josh’s hardnosed business skills will be tempered by Jared’s more humanist approach.”

 

Jared who had been taking a sip of his coffee inhaled sharply, and consequently choked. Josh pounded him on the back, unnecessarily hard Jared thought.

 

When Jared could breathe again he asked, “Dad said that? This is really Dad’s will?”

 

Mr. Snell looked as surprised as Jared, but nodded. 

 

“Yes, he rewrote it a month before he died.” 

 

“He never liked my humanist approach before,” Jared mused.

 

“People change,” Josh shrugged, “and it’s not like you’re some bleeding heart liberal, it’s just that you have a bit of a conscience, which isn’t actually a bad thing.” He smirked. “People start to think you’re an ethical company if you make some decisions which are less than ruthless.”

 

“You did this?” Jared asked agape. “You told dad that I was good for the company?” 

 

Josh shrugged, “I told dad you are good for the company!”

 

Jared felt a warm glow start somewhere in the middle of his body and radiate out until he was sure his face was on fire. 

 

“Thanks man.”

 

The lawyer coughed and Jared looked up at him. Mr. Snell reached over and handed Jared a wooden box. Jared took it tentatively and opened the lid, inside was a distinctive watch, it didn’t look expensive exactly; the strap was a little chunky and looked to be made out of an odd material, but the face of the watch was beautiful, and his dad had wanted him to have it. Jared felt that warm glow reignite and slipped the chunky band onto his wrist. His dad had cherished this watch and so would he.

 

5.

 

Jensen had lived at the Mission for five months and he was starting to get nervous. Something felt off, and he couldn’t put his finger on what it was. He was worried that someone from the Institute was looking for him and Chad, and hanging around in the same town probably wasn’t the wisest move. Although they were comfortable here and they had made good friends, he knew it was time to move on. Now he just had to tell Chad.

 

“I think we should think about getting on our way,” Jensen said to him that night at dinner. He was surprised when Chad nodded his agreement.

 

“I’ve been thinking the same thing. It’s weird, I almost feel like someone is watching me. It’s kinda creepy.”

 

“We need documents, IDs, stuff like that. We can’t go wandering about the country without those.”

 

Charlie looked up from his dinner, chewed and swallowed his mouthful before saying, “Sorry, didn’t mean to eavesdrop,” he looked around furtively, checking on the Reverend, and noticing that he was otherwise engaged. “I can get you some of the best fake papers, I know just the guy.”

 

“We don’t have any money,” Jensen confessed with a sigh. He had a little put aside but suspected that good papers would cost considerably more than he had.

 

“Fred owes me a favor,” he said with a wink, “leave it to me.”

 

A visit to a dodgy backstreet apartment a few days later meant that Jensen and Chad had their IDs. Jensen Anderson and Chad Murphy were born that day. 

 

A week later Jensen packed his backpack as the Reverend looked on sadly.

 

“I’m always torn when one of my boys leave,” he said, “and today I’m losing two.” He handed Jensen an envelope. “I can’t afford much but this should give you a start, and when you’re settled, please let me know you’re okay.” 

 

Jensen felt tears prickle in his eyes, but fought them back. This place had become a home to him over the last few months and he was going to miss it. It and all the residents but particularly the Reverend, his calm manner, the way he managed to get the best out of his motley crew, was what had put Jensen back together again. He had been broken when he arrived at this sanctuary, broken in ways he couldn’t even put into words. But now he felt like a whole person again and it was time to be on his way and to make a life for himself.

 

He flung his arms around the Reverend and hugged him tight.

 

“I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done for us, I’m not sure we would have survived without you. Thank you so much.” Jensen let go and wiped a tear from his eye. Chad jumped into his place, hugging the Reverend and slapping him on his back.

 

“What he said! Rev! You’re the best.” Chad always had a way with words.

 

“Boys, you are more than welcome. Now I want you to be careful and call if you need anything, anything at all. When you’re settled I would love for you to write, email or phone to let me know how you’re doing.”

 

“We will,” Jensen agreed, meaning it. The Reverend had been like a father to him. Now it was time to find his real parents, but he knew he would never forget Reverend Smith.

 

6.

 

Jensen came awake slowly. The dream had been wonderful, but he was already realizing that it wasn’t real. He had arrived home, his street still looked the same except the trees that lined it were a little taller, a little more mature, but then, so was he. He had found his house with very little difficulty and he had walked up the familiar path with his heart beating so loud and fast that he could barely hear Chad asking him, “is this your home?” There was awe in his voice. Chad had been an orphan and he had been whisked away from the orphanage by the institute. He had no one to miss him. He couldn’t remember a home like this.

 

Jensen didn’t answer; he was focused on the front door. He stumbled forward, feeling sweat trickle down his back even as all the moisture dried in his mouth. Reaching the door he grabbed the knocker and knocked before he could lose his nerve.

 

He could hear the occupant move towards the door and then he heard them fiddle with the lock and finally the door opened. Jensen looked up expectantly, but he didn’t recognize the person there. Disappointment wiped the smile from Jensen’s face.

 

“Can I help you?” asked the man; he was old, white-haired with a patchy beard. 

 

“Is,” Jensen’s voice squeaked so he coughed, “Is this where the Ackles live?”

The man looked briefly confused and then light dawned in his eyes.

 

“The Ackles,” he mused, “haven’t heard that name for years. They moved out boy, must be eight years ago now.”

 

Jensen felt his heart hit his stomach; after all he had been through, couldn’t this one thing go right?

 

“Do you know where they went? Were they all right?”

 

“Yes, yes, they were fine last time I saw them. They moved somewhere, California I think. They were getting over a tragedy, lost their boy.” He looked off into the distance. “Sad times… don’t think you ever get over something like that.”

 

Jensen felt something unclench in his stomach. At least they were both alive, or at least they were when this man last saw them. If they were in California then he would find them. After all, Ackles wasn’t a common name.

 

“Thank you sir.” He said and was about to leave when the man said.

 

“Just a minute sonny I think I have their address and phone number here, not sure if it will be current but it might help you out.”

 

Jensen smiled broadly. Maybe today wasn’t so much of a write-off.

 

The journey from the institute to his old home had been scarily easy once they had worked out where the Institute had been located. Turned out it was in the city of Old Stoke, a smallish city in Oklahoma and only one state away from where Jensen used to live. Lack of money had been a problem, even with the envelope of cash Reverend Smith had given them, but Jensen and Chad had managed to pick up some bar work after leaving the mission. Turns out you don’t need to have experience to work in certain, less than savory, establishments. 

 

Jensen had hitchhiked even though he had been scared that a weirdo would pick them up, but in the end it had been fine. Chad had stuck with him, it made sense after all, and they were like two innocents abroad in many ways and they only had each other. Neither of them had seen the outside world for many years, but a combination of television, books and life lessons provided by the other men in the mission had made sure they were alert to any potential dangers. 

 

“So California?” Chad mused, “I’ve always fancied California. I’d quite like to go to Disney.” Chad smiled and Jensen couldn’t help but return it; to be honest he quite fancied visiting DisneyLand himself. 

 

Waking up in his small room chased the dream away and it was replaced by cold reality. Unfortunately, it had been far too easy to find the Ackles in Los Angeles. Turned out Jensen was too late, his mom had died of breast cancer five years before, and his dad had followed a short year later. They said it was a brain aneurism but Jensen was pretty sure it was a broken heart that had finished him off. Alan had been able to gather enough strength to somehow bear the loss of his only son, but the loss of his wife, the love of his life, had just been too much. Jensen had visited their graves and laid flowers on both. He had cried uncontrollably as Chad had looked on with embarrassment. 

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t get here sooner, Mom,” he whispered as he caressed his mother’s marble headstone. “I love you both and not a day has gone by where I haven’t thought about you or wanted to come home to you. I wish I had gotten out sooner. ” His voice broke and he turned and walked away quickly. 

 

Jensen got out of bed and looked out of the window. He could see down into the city of San Francisco from here at the top of the hill. It was beautiful anytime but at night there was an atmosphere to the city that just drew you in. Jensen knew he was meant to live here the moment he’d arrived in the city. He was still mourning his parents at that stage but the aura of the city soothed him. Chad agreed willingly and here they had stayed.

 

7.

 

It was late; three am or possibly later. Jensen could feel the sweat trickle down his back in random rivulets; one set a course for crack of his ass and then uncomfortably dribbled down between. The music was pounding and the clientele were rowdy, but it was so busy that Jensen didn’t have time to scratch where the sweat was making him itch. 

 

Himbo was the premiere gay club in the Mission; the fact that it was the only gay club at this end of the street didn’t stop the owners, Gav and Neil, from advertising it as such. Jensen had been working here for a few months, his clean-cut good looks and flirty personality meant he made more in tips than actual wage and he felt like he had found a place he actually belonged. The fact that he had only just turned eighteen was a secret Jensen held close, and his fake ID and Social Security details seemed to passing as real. His ID said he had just turned 21 and his innocent and youthful looks turned the eye of many a bear that just wanted to adopt Jensen and take care of him. Jensen knew he didn’t need anyone to take care of him; he was more than capable of taking care of himself.

 

After the disappointment of finding out his parents were dead, Jensen and Chad had hitched from town to town, covering California from South to North and trying to find somewhere they both agreed they could live. Jensen needed Chad and he felt for sure that Chad needed him, their childhood and adolescence was a factor that bound them irretrievably. They had zigzagged across the state, hitching for the most part, or catching the greyhound if they had scrabbled together enough cash. They had stayed in such eclectic places as San Diego and Mountain View, and even Palm Springs. They had worked odd jobs, as waiters, bartenders or laborers. Until finally they found themselves in San Francisco and the city just seemed to work for them, the beauty of the place, and the eclectic population drew them in and Jensen knew in his heart that he would never leave.

 

San Francisco was a city that was large enough to offer anonymity but small enough to feel homely. Chad loved it and that just sealed the deal for Jensen. The people were friendly enough without being invasive, and they were inclusive too. It didn’t seem to matter if you were gay, straight or transgendered and Jensen found that refreshing.

 

Jensen smiled as he remembered Chad coming home yesterday with a jar of chili jam that Mrs. Michaels had made for him. Chad was working as a homecare assistant and he had also found his calling: he looked after five elderly women in their own homes, and they all loved him. One of the women, Mrs. Andover, had let them move into her garage apartment, and as long as Chad was prepared to be on-call, she let them live there rent-free. Chad had used his shiny new ID to enroll in a Certified Nursing Assistant course the year before and now that he was qualified he couldn’t be happier.

 

Jensen was pulled out of his reverie as Bertie, another bartender, nudged him as he walked by.

 

“Keep up,” he grumbled, “there are people waiting.”

 

“Sorry man,” Jensen apologized and he nodded at one of the men waiting and the quickly filled his order. Another hour to go then he would be able to shower and sleep, and boy did he need some sleep. 

 

All of a sudden Jensen felt a tingle, it seemed to take over his whole body. The tingling turned to warmth and then heat, Jensen needed to sit down, and he put his hands flat on the bar and held himself up. 

 

“Are you okay?” asked a deep voice with a southern twang. 

 

Jensen forced his head up and then he saw him. He was beautiful, tall, dark and exotic, and when he smiled, which he did when he saw Jensen’s face, his teeth were straight and white and Jensen immediately wanted to feel those teeth on his neck, his chest, his nipples. Quicker than that, Jensen was hard and needy. God he wanted this man. He had never felt like this before… sure he had met men he felt attracted to, men that turned his head, but never this immediacy of attraction. It was weird. Then Jensen looked into those compelling eyes, and all the questions ran away and all he knew was he needed this man.

“Hey,” the man said and graced Jensen with a huge smile that made Jensen’s knees turn to jelly. That smile could end wars, cure cancer and make Jensen drop his pants; that wonderful smile took over the man’s whole face. Pulling himself together, Jensen tried to push all these odd feelings down deep inside. He returned the smile automatically; the gorgeous guy had the most infectious smile Jensen had ever seen.

 

“What can I get you?” Jensen’s voice squeaked like it had when it had broken when he was fifteen, he would be talking normally one minute then sound like Barry White the next and then it would change again to that of squeaky girl.

 

The man chuckled and leaned on the bar, his eyes had a predatory look in them. “Would it be too clichéd to ask for your number?” 

 

It probably was the most clichéd thing anyone had ever said to Jensen but he didn’t care, he grabbed a napkin and pen and wrote his number down then handed it to the man. Jensen noticed Brad, one of the other barmen, giving Jensen an odd look. Jensen suspected it was because he had never given anyone else his number, no one had affected him like this before. This must be what love is, he thought.

 

“My name is Jared and I’ll call you, real soon.” The guy declared and beamed at Jensen, “And I’ll have a light beer, please.”

 

Jensen pulled the beer and handed it to Jared. “Hi Jared,” Jensen returned and smiled shyly. He had never felt shy before, but today he could feel his face burning. It felt good to be the center of this man’s attention, it felt awesome! Then Jared touched Jensen’s hand and Jensen nearly came in his pants. This was definitely love. 

 

Jensen didn’t see Jared again for the rest of the night and he chastised himself for caring. After all, he had only just met the man. And okay, he was good looking, but he might have the personality of a rock for all Jensen knew. Yet it didn’t matter to Jensen— he knew there was something deeper there, it was love at first sight and he desperately hoped Jared would call, and soon. He had spent the evening craning his neck hoping to catch a glimpse of Jared but he hadn’t been able to. Maybe Jared had left early, or maybe he had been avoiding Jensen. That thought made Jensen’s heart twinge. 

 

Jared didn’t call the next day. Jensen was banging around the kitchen when Chad arrived home from Mrs. Andover’s house.

 

“What’s up? Not getting any?” Chad was impossible since he had managed to hook up with Mrs. Michael’s granddaughter, the beautiful Sophia. Jensen didn’t know what she saw in Chad but he couldn’t deny that the man was happier than Jensen had ever seen. Jensen threw Chad a scathing look.

 

“Oh my God, you’ve met someone.” Jensen started and looked at Chad quizzically, how could he possibly know?

 

“You’ve got that lovelorn look. So what does he look like? When do I get to meet him?”

 

Jensen rubbed the back of his neck as he bit his lip. It almost seemed as if his chip was tingling. 

 

“There was a guy at the club last night.” He smiled at the memory, “he was gorgeous, tall, dark and handsome. He took my number but he hasn’t called.” Jensen grumbled and sat down at the kitchen table, banging his head on the wooden surface repeatedly.

 

Chad grabbed him by his short hair and looked into his eyes.

 

“Yet! Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome hasn’t called yet! So cool your jets and stop worrying, of course he’ll call your gorgeous, twinky ass!”

 

Jensen smiled. Chad always knew how to cheer him up. 

 

“What is the matter with me? I’ve never been this pathetic about a man.”

 

“Yeah that is weird,” Chad agreed. “In fact I don’t ever remember you having a crush on anyone, well except for George Clooney, and to be honest even I’d have a go on him.”

 

“Yeah, I don’t know what it was, there was just something about him,” Jensen rubbed his neck again, “he was just so friendly looking, as well as gorgeous,” Jensen wiggled his eyebrows. “I honestly thought I would never be interested in sex again, not after our lessons.” They both shuddered; it wasn’t something they ever talked about. Sex education had a whole new meaning in the institute, and it had pretty much put Jensen off sex for life… until now. “But he’s different, I just wanted to jump him.” Jensen laughed, embarrassed. After all, for all intents and purposes, Jensen was still a virgin. It was just that he had undertaken a vast amount of sex education, including but not restricted to, blow jobs, how to prepare oneself adequately and how to please your partner. 

 

“He’s obviously the one then,” Chad concurred. 

 

“He’d better bloody call,” Jensen sulked. Chad patted him on the shoulder then put the coffeemaker on.

 

“Coffee?”

 

Jensen nodded.

 

8.

 

Jared finally called two days later, by which time Jensen was ready to kill someone and Chad had all but moved in with Sophia to avoid the tension. Jensen had spent the time sulking and masturbating unsuccessfully. His dick was raw, but no matter how much he teased gently or pulled enthusiastically he just couldn’t come. He was about ready to go to the doctor to see if something was seriously wrong when his cell rang. He almost ignored it, thinking it was Chad checking up on him. Finally he grabbed it and when he didn’t recognize the number his heart did a little flip flop and he pressed the answer key.

 

“Hey is this Jensen?” came Jared’s unmistakable drawl.

 

The phone slipped in Jensen’s now wet fingers. “Yes,” he squeaked then repeated in a more normal voice, “yes.”

 

“Hey, it’s Jared from the other night.” As if Jensen was ever going to forget that incredible specimen of mankind.

 

“Hi there,” Jensen said and sat down as he felt all the tension that had built up of the last few days slip away.

 

“I’m so sorry I didn’t call earlier but I had to go away with work, but now I’m back. So do you want to go out sometime, tonight even? I thought we could get   
something to eat and maybe a few drinks. What do you think?”

 

He sounded so self-assured, and his voice was so soothing that Jensen relaxed further, slumping back in his seat. 

 

“I’d like that,” Jensen affirmed. He had considered over the last few days turning Jared down if he called, making him wait like he had made Jensen wait. But now that Jared was here on the phone, there was no way he could do that. 

 

“So where do you live?” Jared went on, “then I can pick you up, say at about seven?”

 

Jensen gave Jared his address and then they hung up and Jensen had a mad panic about what he was going to wear.

 

Chad was good for something after all. He had rushed home after Jensen phoned him to tell him Jared was picking him up at seven and that he hadn’t a fucking idea what to wear. Jensen had had to sit down after that and put his head between his legs. He had never had a panic attack before but he was pretty sure he was having one now. 

 

“Okay homo,” Chad said as he breezed into Jensen’s room, “let’s see what we can do with that abomination you call a wardrobe.” 

 

“Are you sure you’re straight?” Jensen muttered. He felt exhausted now that his panic had passed. 

 

“Yep! We’re doing straight eye for the queer guy today.” Chad was a veritable wealth of pop culture. Chad rummaged through Jensen’s admittedly limited wardrobe. So shoot him he didn’t like spending money on clothes. Jensen felt an impulse to save as much money as possible, just in case. He could hear Chad murmuring, “No... No… hell no!” He turned and held up a ripped yellow tee that Jensen had bought at goodwill not long after they had escaped. Okay it wasn’t haute couture but it had served a need. “What in the hell were you thinking?” Jensen just shrugged, he was pretty sure Chad didn’t want an answer anyway. 

 

“Awful! Oh God!” Chad did some pretend throw up noises as he held a red and black checked lumberjack shirt between his finger and his thumb and looked at Jensen accusingly. Jensen quite liked that one. “You my friend, have no sense of style.” Chad continued. “Ahah!” he shouted jubilantly as he pulled out a midnight blue button down. “This!” he announced, “with those tight jeans you wear to work, the ones that show off your package, don’t think I haven’t looked!” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively and Jensen felt vaguely violated.

 

“Truly dude,” Chad scoffed. “We need to go shopping, especially if you’re gonna be dating.”

 

Jensen nodded. It hadn’t bothered him before; he just wore jeans and tees to work. As long as the t-shirt was tight, he got good tips. Today, for the first time he felt embarrassed by his target boxer-briefs, not that he was planning on putting out at all. His cock gave a weak pulse of disappointment and Jensen smiled to himself, he was so going to put out if the opportunity arose. 

 

After Jensen dressed in the outfit that Chad had picked, he paced the room, rubbing his hands on his thighs periodically to dry the sweat off. This was his interpretation of hell, waiting, he had never been good at that.

 

“Oh for God’s sake, stop that.” Chad cried in exasperation as he popped his head round the door. “Come on, come downstairs, have a drink, it’ll calm your nerves… and mine,” he muttered the last bit almost like an afterthought. 

 

Jensen punched Chad in the shoulder as he walked by. His roommate wasn’t wrong, but did he have to be so irritating?

 

It was a big fucking relief when about ten hours later there was a knock on the door. Okay it wasn’t ten hours but it sure as hell felt that way to Jensen. When the knock came Jensen felt like his heart stopped and he looked at Chad in panic. 

 

“Are you gonna answer the door to your loverboy?”

 

“No, you do it,” Jensen whispered as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Please?”

 

“Oh for fucks sake,” Chad groaned as he rushed downstairs to open the door. Jensen followed close on heals, but hung back at the last minute. He sneaked a look as the door opened, and there he was; he looked just as good as Jensen remembered. A long, tall breath of fresh air that rushed into the house and caressed Jensen’s body from head to toe. Jensen felt all his embarrassment and restraint flee and he had to hold himself back from rushing out and molesting the man right at that moment. 

 

“Hey,” Jared said, his eyes skimming over Chad until they found Jensen. That first glance was like electricity; Jensen felt his knees quiver even as a smile crept onto his face.

 

“Hey,” Jensen responded as he descended the rest of the stairs. 

 

“You ready?” Jared asked, his eyes never leaving Jensen. Chad coughed ostentatiously and Jared’s gaze slipped from Jensen to the other man. “Oh sorry dude.” Jared offered Chad his sunniest grin, “I’m Jared.”

 

“Chad,” Chad said as he offered Jared his hand. Jensen noticed that the blond man’s face was full of distrust. 

 

“Hi Chad, I promise to get Jensen home by midnight and totally unmolested.”

 

“Unmolested?” Jensen pouted and Jared snorted. Jensen didn’t know where his brashness came from. Yes, he worked behind a bar so he could thoughtlessly flirt with a hundred guys a night, but he never purposefully flirted with anyone. 

 

“I thought we’d grab something to eat. There’s a new Indian restaurant that I’ve been meaning to try, do you like Indian food?”

 

“Love it,” Jensen said as he grabbed his jacket. “Don’t wait up.” He nodded to Chad as he pushed past him, and he winked as he went. 

 

Jared’s car was big, black and shiny. That was about the limit of Jensen’s car knowledge, but inside it was sumptuous. There were leather seats and the subtle aroma of the hide was still present in the cool air. Jensen didn’t doubt that it was an expensive car. He didn’t really care; all that he cared about was that he was here, with Jared!

 

“Nice car,” Jensen offered. He had spoken to break the silence, although it had been an easy silence, he really wanted to hear Jared speak. His voice was deep and dark and smooth as molasses, Jensen definitely wanted to hear Jared speak again.

 

“Yeah,” Jared agreed and caressed the dashboard, “not bad. It’s a company car, but it gets me from A to B in comfort. I’m not really into cars.” He sighed and turned, gracing Jensen with his incredible smile, a smile that lit his whole face. “I prefer bikes, get the blood pumping, the wind in my hair,” he raised an eyebrow then chuckled, “I like a bit of honest exercise.”

 

“Wow,” Jensen said, “do you know I haven’t cycled since I was a kid and now you’ve made me want to.” Jensen’s brain ticked over, he wondered how much a cheap second hand bike would set him back. There was some lovely countryside around, wooded areas, mountains, he could get a tent and have some time away under the stars. 

 

“We really need to fix that, and soon.” Jared said. “Not tonight though, tonight we shall dine like princes and when we go home we shall be fat and full!” Jared finished with a fake English accent that made Jensen grin in return.

 

The restaurant was dim, deep red wallpaper and dark wooden tables covered in white linen and brightened by pools of candlelight. The place smelt delicious, redolent of spicy curry and Jensen felt his stomach rumble. Jared elbowed him with a grin, “hungry?”

 

“Starving!” Jensen agreed. 

 

The waiter showed them to a table and shook out each napkin before placing it on their laps. He offered Jared the wine menu and plopped two menus before them before taking his leave.

 

“The food smell great, have you eaten here before?” Jensen asked. He looked up at Jared. He didn’t know why but he felt calm and contented in the man’s presence, he also felt incredibly turned on.

 

“No, but I’ve heard plenty of good things, apparently the Madras is to die for.”

 

Jensen didn’t know whether it was the way the subdued lighting turned Jared’s skin golden, or the way the candlelight made his eyes dance, but all he did know was by the end of the evening he was in love with this man. 

 

Jared drove Jensen home and dropped a small, chaste kiss on his lips, a kiss that Jensen could feel all the way to his toes. He very much wanted to grab Jared and drag him to his room and not let him go until they were both exhausted and sated, but something stopped him. Maybe it was the way Jared looked at him; it was a worshipful gaze, with a glint of naughtiness. Jensen knew there would be plenty of time for naked fun and he was going to enjoy every sweaty moment. For now though, he was going to go to bed and dream of his knight in a black shiny car.

 

He tripped into the house as if he were in a cheesy musical, he almost twirled Chad when he saw him, but somehow he restrained himself and flopped down into the armchair.

 

“Good night then?” Chad asked with a smirk.

 

“The best,” Jensen sighed, “at least until tomorrow. He’s taking me on a picnic.”

 

Chad pretended to gag, but couldn’t hide his genuine smile. “Good for you man! Well now I know you’re safe and haven’t been murdered by a psycho, I’m off to bed.”

 

Jensen smiled dreamily and waved to Chad. There was something niggling in the back of his mind, but Jensen couldn’t grasp it so he let it go. It wasn’t important anyway. As he walked up the stairs to bed rubbed the back of his neck absently. 

 

9.

 

Jared arrived punctually at eleven am and Jensen greeted him with a hug. He loved to see Jared smile, it made Jensen feel a warmth that ran all down his body. 

 

“Hey you,” Jared said and kissed Jensen on the cheek. Jensen smiled at Jared. He felt so comfortable with this man, he just knew they would be in each other’s lives for a long time. 

 

Jared was driving a different car today, it looked like a jeep to Jensen’s untrained eyes and in the back were two bikes. Jared noticed Jensen’s gaze and threw an arm around his shoulder.

 

“You said you wanted to do some cycling, I thought today was an ideal time, just look at the weather.”

 

The weather was beautiful. God Jensen loved this city, and if he was honest he was desperate to get on one of those cycles and ride again, feel the wind in his hair and enjoy the freedom of it just like he had when he was a child. 

 

“What I thought,” Jared continued, “was that we would park around Fisherman’s Wharf and then we could cycle to the Golden Gate Bridge. We could even cycle across it if you fancy it.” 

 

“That sounds good,” Jensen said as he reached forward and touched one of the bikes.

 

“Yeah the route is pretty flat apart from the climb up to the bridge, that’s a bit of a challenge, but I’ve brought food and drink, so we can take our time.” 

 

Jensen nodded, he couldn’t think of a more wonderful way to spend a day. 

 

Jared drove them to the Wharf and then they spent some time adjusting Jensen’s bike and helmet to fit before transferring the food and drink into the panniers. Then they were on their way. Jensen was surprised that he found it so easy, he had a few wobbles at the beginning but soon he was able to ride as if he had never had a twelve-year hiatus. The wind was blowing his hair back and his legs pumped up and down. He sensed a freedom he hadn’t felt since he was a kid, and he couldn’t help the huge grin that appeared on his face.

 

“Having fun?” Jared laughed as he pulled along side and matched Jensen’s pace.

 

“Hell yeah, this is the best date ever!”

 

Jared’s smile was brighter than the sun overhead, and his skin actually pinked slightly. “Aww shucks,” he deflected.

 

“No, seriously Jared, this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me, thank you.”

 

Jensen looked out along the bay, the water was a deep blue and sparkled brightly where the sun kissed it. As far as he was concerned this place was the most beautiful on the whole earth.

 

“Do you want to stop for something to eat?” Jared asked and Jensen agreed, the view was spectacular and he couldn’t think of a better place to have a picnic or indeed a better companion to have it with.

 

The panniers weren’t exactly ideal holders for picnic food, so the sandwiches were somewhat squashed and the grease of the chicken had wilted the salad, but the food still tasted wonderful. Jensen was surprised by how hungry he was. They ate while looking out at the glorious scenery. Jensen could see the Golden Gate Bridge up ahead, imposing but beautiful. They didn’t feel the need to talk, Jensen felt so comfortable in Jared’s presence that there was no need for him to try and make conversation and Jared appeared equally secure. They finished their meal with a beer, just the one Jared had said, they didn’t want to be drunk in charge of a bicycle after all.

 

The rest of the day was just a wonderful as the beginning. The ride up to the bridge was indeed a challenge, Jensen thought his heart may beat all the way out of his chest at one stage, but when they reached the top the sense of satisfaction wasn’t one Jensen would give up for anything. Aching legs and all. 

 

They decided not to cycle over the bridge that day and to save it for another day, maybe cycle down to Sausalito and then catch the ferry back. For today they were going to chill in the sunshine, eat the rest of the picnic and get to know each other better.

 

“So, you from Texas?” Jared asked and Jensen lurched. How had he known that? Jensen knew for a fact he didn’t have much of an accent anymore, the Institute hadn’t liked it so had trained it out of him.

 

“Yes, Dallas, how did you know?” Jensen wasn’t keen to talk about his past but he could tell enough truth to make any story believable.

 

“You have a slight accent when you say some words,” he reached over and stroked Jensen’s arm, “not much of one though, did you leave when you were a child?”

 

“Yes,” Jensen agreed, and that was the truth. “I left when I was six, my father got a job in Oklahoma.” That wasn’t so much the truth. “How about you? You’re from Texas too?”

 

“Yep, San Antonio, born and bred,” Jared said proudly. “You’re probably aware already, but my dad, Gerald, he started Padalecki Inc. and did pretty well for himself.”

 

Jensen shook his head; he knew that Jared was rich. It wasn’t just that he dressed well and drove nice cars, it was something about the way he held himself, not entitled exactly but he definitely had a confidence that Jensen hadn’t noticed around people of lesser means. “No I haven’t heard of it, I don’t really pay much attention to the financial pages, I like the comics too much.” Jensen shrugged with a grin.

 

“Don’t blame you, they can get mighty boring and I’m an accountant by trade.” Jared said with a chuckle. 

 

Jared’s laugh always sounded so dirty, it sent a signal directly to Jensen’s groin. Jensen lifted his right leg to hide the growing bulge and felt a weird tingle in his neck. Maybe he ought to see the doctor about it, it seemed to be happening more and more frequently.

 

“Anyway,” Jared continued, “how did you end up all the way down here?”

 

Jensen had made up a story that he had told many times, to prospective employers and acquaintances alike. He had told it so many times he almost believed it himself.

 

“After we moved to Oklahoma, my mom died of breast cancer and my dad died a year or so later.” Jared squeezed Jensen’s arm in sympathy, but let Jensen continue. “We had no other relatives so I ended up in a local orphanage until I was old enough and then I left and travelled around until I ended up here. I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else now.” Jensen looked up at Jared, he could see that the other man had tears in his eyes, and Jensen felt quite emotional himself. It wasn’t the exact truth, but it was so close, he could feel the pain of losing his parents again. Although he hadn’t found out about them until he was older, it had still been a terrible wrench.

 

“Oh Jensen,” Jared said and reached in and kissed him softly on the mouth. 

 

Suddenly everything was forgotten, all the terrible things that had happened at the institute, all the things that had happened since. All that mattered was Jared’s mouth on his. Jared’s taste was wonderful; it was sweet and warm, indefinable but was definitely all Jared. Jensen moved closer and threw his arms around Jared, pulling him close. He could smell his cologne, musky and exotic, Jensen felt gooseflesh travel down his back. God he wanted this man so much. 

 

“Jared,” he gasped. 

 

Jared pulled back and looked at Jensen with eyes heavy with desire.

 

“You are such a temptation,” he said, as he sat up adjusting his t-shirt. “I want you so badly.” Jensen suddenly felt the urge to undress and offer himself, but then Jared continued, “I want the time to be right, I want it to be perfect.”

 

And just like that, that was exactly what Jensen wanted too. He rubbed at his neck, that weird sensation was irritating him again. He vaguely wondered whether it was his chip, but if it was the chip then there was nothing he could do about it. The Doctor at the Institute had told him, that they had attached a fine filament into his spinal cord and that any attempt to remove it would cause permanent damage, he would probably end up paralyzed. The thought was fleeting, and soon he was lying in Jared’s arms, talking about films they had seen and music that they liked. It felt normal, it felt like a relationship, and Jensen thought he couldn’t be happier.

 

10.

 

It had felt right straight away and as the hours wended into days and the days into weeks, Jensen yearned for Jared. Yearned for his touch while they were together, the need was so strong. Yet while they were apart the yearning dulled. Jensen didn’t make anything of this, but maybe if he had thought about it he would have found it odd. After all wasn’t absence meant to make the heart grow fonder? Not like this when the feelings waned in Jared’s absence? None of this mattered when they were together though, so any lingering doubts were swept from Jensen’s head when Jared took him in his arms. Then everything was crystal clear.

 

Jared worked for the family business apparently, something to do with finance, Jensen wasn’t sure what it was, but it sounded pretty important and he knew Jared was rich. He wore the trappings of wealth unconsciously, but he never made Jensen feel any less for being of modest means, and he was always happy to have cheap dates, like walking along the coast or checking out the farmers market. Jensen really liked him, felt happy and relaxed in his company, if not a little, and okay a lot, horny. But something was a little off, and he couldn’t quite work out what.

 

Jared was taking him away for the weekend, it was a bit stupid but Jensen was both looking forward to it and dreading it. He hadn’t been separated from Chad since they had left the institute, and even before that they had been inseparable, since they had met really. But being taken away to a small B & B in the Sonoma Valley would be wonderful, he was sure. He was also pretty sure that they might finally make love too, and that was about time, his body needed Jared like it needed water.

 

Jared was free with his affection, he often hugged and kissed Jensen but apart from one hot and heavy session, he hadn’t really made much of a move on Jensen. Jensen found this incredibly frustrating, it wasn’t like he was a horn dog or anything but he had wanted Jared from the moment he had seen him, wanted him in a deep, dark, visceral way. No, it wasn’t that he wanted him, he needed him, and he needed Jared to touch him, fondle him and fuck him. Dammit. Why did he have to meet a virtuous man?

 

It was ironic, Jensen was about to turn twenty (Although his ID said otherwise) and by rights he would already have been used up sexually if the institute had had their way. As it was he was desperate for the touch of a man who was holding out!

 

Jensen heard the beep, beep of Jared’s horn and grabbed his overnight bag and rushed out the door, leaving a note to Chad on the way. Today, Jared was driving a little red sporty car, the roof was down, which was perfect as the San Francisco weather was warm and there was not a spot of fog was to be seen. 

 

“Come on Jensen, jump in, we want to miss the traffic,” Jared beamed, raising his sun glasses so he could take a good look at Jensen. “Wow you look great.”

 

Jensen looked down at himself in confusion, he was wearing jeans and a tee, the t-shirt was a little on the small side and molded to his body in all the right places. The way Jared looked at him made Jensen feel a little squirmy inside; he was so going to get lucky tonight, if not sooner.

 

The drive to the Inn at Occidental took over an hour but the beautiful countryside made it seem like it took minutes. Jared pulled the car up the drive and parked letting Jensen get a good look at the Inn. It was cute, eclectic and homey. They checked in and went to their room that was like something out of a fairytale. There was a four-poster bed that had what looked like a handmade quilt folded at the foot. 

 

“Wow,” Jensen cooed.

 

Jared beamed, “you like?”

 

“I love it,” Jensen said and threw himself into Jared’s arms. Jared swept him up and kissed Jensen soundly on the lips. Jensen sighed happily and lifted his legs and wrapped them around Jared’s hips. This felt so right; this was exactly where he was meant to be.

 

Jared kissed him back; the kiss was soft and sweet with just a hint of stubble. Jared smelt amazing, and just being this close to him made Jensen’s senses hum. He could feel his cock hardening and he really needed Jared to touch him. Jared moaned and deepened the kiss; his tongue sought entry to Jensen’s mouth and was granted immediately. Jensen thrust his hips tentatively against Jared’s and was rewarded with a groan that sent tremors of pleasure throughout Jensen’s body. He could feel that Jared was hard too and he couldn’t help the little moan that escaped his mouth. He wanted and needed Jared, but more than that he desperately needed to make the man happy. 

 

Jared walked the two of them towards the bed and gently deposited Jensen on the edge. Jensen refused to unlink his legs and laid back, dragging Jared with him. Jared was now exactly where Jensen needed him to be, on top of him, surrounding and enveloping him. It felt so right. It felt perfect.

 

Then Jared’s mouth was on his again, this time there was nothing hesitant or gentle about it. The kiss was all consuming, and Jensen sighed with pleasure as Jared’s hand went to his fly and started unbuttoning it. Jensen ran his hand down Jared’s back, feeling the play of muscles and the warmth of skin below the thin t-shirt. Down, down further until he reached the swell of Jared’s ass, and what an ass, generous and full. Jensen slipped his hand below the waistband and touched the secret skin there even as Jared grasped Jensen’s own cock. 

 

Sensation, Jensen’s body was all sensation. He could feel Jared all over him, surrounding him, he could feel Jared’s skin warm as he caressed his ass, and he could barely breathe as Jared grasped his dick in his huge hand and gently caressed it. Jensen lurched uncontrollably at the touch, his breath catching in his throat. 

 

“You like that?” Jared’s voice was dark and amused and he sounded altogether too controlled for Jensen’s liking as he managed to grunt an affirmative. 

“Clothes,” he gasped, “too many clothes.” 

 

Jared must have agreed as he was off Jensen in seconds, leaving him feeling cold and abandoned. Jared pulled his t-shirt over his head displaying that amazing body. Jensen reached out and traced a line from Jared’s nipple to his waist, his finger tracing hollows and rises as it tracked across muscle and bone.

 

“Oi,” Jared said, laughing, “I want to see you naked.” 

 

Jared’s words sent a message that went straight to Jensen’s groin and it immediately seemed imperative for him to shuck his clothes. He raised his hips and removed his jeans and shorts, never once taking his eyes from Jared’s body. Then he slipped off his tee as Jared removed his jeans. Jared clothed was an impressive sight, but Jared naked was awe-inspiring. The man should spend his time oiled up and walking around as living art, Jensen thought as his hand reached out to touch that remarkable body.

 

“God I have wanted to do this for so long,” Jared whispered as he leaned over and took Jensen’s nipple into his mouth, eliciting a groan from his partner. 

 

“Why did you wait so long?” Jensen panted.

 

Jared looked up from his tendering and shook his head. “I didn’t want you to think I was only after one thing.” He shrugged a shoulder. “You must get hit on all the time.” 

 

It was true, men did hit on him all the time, especially in his job, and mostly it was annoying. But with Jared it was different. He wanted Jared to hit on him, wanted him to fuck him if he was honest, and had done since he had first set eyes on Jared. 

 

Jared went back to work on his nipple chasing any further analysis from Jensen’s head. God the man had a great mouth Jensen thought as Jared started to kiss his way down Jensen’s torso, feathery little kisses that left gooseflesh in their wake. Jensen gasped breathlessly as Jared reached his groin and then took Jensen’s cock into his warm mouth. If this got any better, Jensen was going to expire. 

 

“Jared…” he gasped.

 

Jared pulled off with an obscene pop and chuckled darkly as he reached over and fumbled in his pants. Jensen laid his head back and stared at the ceiling but he heard a rustle and hoped with all his heart that Jared was retrieving a condom because if he didn’t get Jared inside him soon he was going to die, literally die. 

 

Jensen had never felt like this before. Sure he had found guys attractive, but he had never felt so compelled to be with someone, so desperate for their touch, so needy. Maybe this was normal once you had met the one? Jensen had never even gotten close to a guy before, never felt the need, and now he was as desperate as a starving man before an all-you-can-eat buffet. He wasn’t complaining though and when Jared’s finger, damp from lubricant, found his secret place, he felt like he was home.

 

Jared prepared him well, he was well stretched and lubricated by the time Jared placed his sheathed cock as Jensen’s entrance. 

 

“Please Jared,” Jensen panted as he looked into Jared’s dark, needy eyes. He could feel Jared’s hand shake as he guided his dick into Jensen’s body. It hurt, so much more than Jensen expected, and although he didn’t know why he was doing it, he hid his reaction from Jared. He urged him on with pants and touches as he internally winced.

 

It got better, slowly, and Jensen was grateful as the pain eased and his reactions became a little more authentic until he was really enjoying it, the pull and thrust. The gaping emptiness as Jared pulled out and the overwhelming fullness as Jared thrust in. Then Jared hit Jensen’s prostate and Jensen’s enjoyment became elation. This was perfection; this was exactly where Jensen was meant to be. He reached up with his mouth searching for Jared’s until they were joined in everyway possible.

 

“I love you,” Jensen managed between kisses and his heart swelled when Jared replied.

 

“Me too.” Jared scraped Jensen’s throat with his teeth before sucking there and Jensen just knew he was leaving a mark. The thought of walking around and displaying Jared’s mark of ownership made Jensen’s stomach flip.

 

Then Jared increased his pace, thrusting hard, grazing Jensen’s prostate more often than not, building Jensen’s arousal until he thought he might burst. Their bodies slid together on a sheen of sweat that coated both their bellies. Jensen’s balls drew up and he knew he was seconds from coming and when Jared nipped his ear, it was all over. He came in spurts of ecstasy. Jensen’s vision whited out for a moment and he only came back to himself when he heard Jared groan and then felt a warmth inside himself as Jared’s semen filled the condom. 

 

Jensen lay in Jared’s arms enjoying the afterglow and thought that this was exactly where he wanted to be. 

 

“We should get married,” Jared said, apropos of nothing, as he traced circles on Jensen’s chest. Jensen felt his heart skip, and he turned to look at Jared. 

 

“Yes.” He said, “If that’s a proposal then the answer is yes.” 

 

It should be madness, they had only known each other a few weeks, but Jensen hadn’t ever felt anything so right; this was exactly who he was meant to spend the rest of his life with. His hand went to his neck and rubbed the skin there it seemed to be tingling in agreement.

 

Jared chuckled, his laughter was so genuine that Jensen couldn’t help but join in.

 

11.

 

“So,” said Chad, “a New Year wedding then?” He shook his head as if he couldn’t really believe what he was hearing. “Jensen, far be it from me to judge, but you have only just met the man and you’ve only been on a few dates. He could be a psycho for fuck’s sake. I mean he seems nice enough and he is rich.” Chad pondered as he stroked his chin, for all the world looking like a Bond villain. “I know you like him but it all seems a bit quick.”

 

“I know,” Jensen, agreed, sitting down next to his friend, “it just seems so right. You know, after our upbringing.” Jensen felt an unpleasant acidic swirl in his stomach at the memory. “I just never thought I would meet anyone and have an actual choice,” Jensen sighed. “But with Jared, it’s just right, I can’t ever imagine wanting to be with anyone else.”

 

Chad patted Jensen’s hand. “I know, I just worry about you, that’s all. As long as he makes you happy that’s all I want.”

 

“I know,” Jensen agreed. “And he does make me happy, I can’t imagine that anyone else could ever make me happier.”

 

Chad hummed to himself and scrutinized his friend. He certainly seemed happy, but it was sudden. He could understand attraction, after all he had wanted to screw Sophia the moment he saw her, but living with that person for the rest of your life, never tasting the fruit of another, well… it all seemed a bit alien to him. He wasn’t Jensen though, and as long as Jared kept him happy it was none of Chad’s concern. If he stepped out of line, even once though, then all bets were off. 

 

“So do you fancy giving me away?” Jensen asked. 

 

“Aww, honey, you’re so traditional!” Chad cooed, but then he nodded and gave his friend a big squeeze. “Of course I will.”

 

A serious look came over Jensen’s face, “this could have all been so different you know? I could be some rich man’s sex slave now.” Jensen shuddered even as Chad pulled him close. 

 

“Yeah man,” he agreed, “we certainly dodged the bullet on that one.”

 

“Anyway,” Jensen continued, I’m going to go Christmas shopping, do you want to come?”

 

Chad looked as if he had bitten into a lemon, “Really dude, I can’t think of anything worse.”

 

Jensen smiled at his friend; he had known the answer before he had ever asked the question. 

 

12.

 

Jensen was exhausted. He had walked around the Westfield Centre for hours it seemed, then he had walked down to the Farmer’s Market at the Ferry Plaza to pick up some food and other bits. His feet were throbbing and his head felt like it was going to explode. He needed a drink, so he popped into a small bar he passed on the way back to the apartment. It was dark inside and that immediately helped his head. The bar was practically empty, there was one man sitting at the bar nursing a drink and Jensen sat down a seat away from him, not wanting the man to think he was trying to pick him up. After all, he was engaged to be married.

 

The man who was sat at the bar chatting to the barman was intriguing. He was older, probably in his forties, dark haired with twinkling brown eyes, and he was very good looking. He turned and caught Jensen’s eye and ridiculously, Jensen blushed. What was he fourteen with his first crush? He was practically a married man for goodness sake. The man was handsome though, and when he beckoned Jensen over he went willingly and without thought. If Jensen had met this guy a year ago, he would have gone home with him and the way the guy was looking at Jensen strongly suggested that might have been an option. Funnily enough, meeting this man almost pushed Jared from his head; almost, but not quite.

 

“Hi,” the man said smoothly.

 

“Hi,” replied Jensen and he moved into the proffered seat. 

 

“Haven’t seen you in here before,” the guy said and in his whiskey soaked voice, it didn’t even sound like a cliché.

 

“Nope,” Jensen agreed, “just popped in for a rest,” he put down his bags, “Christmas shopping.” 

 

“Ah,” the man surmised, “I’m Jeff,” he added. 

 

“Jensen.” Jensen took the man’s hand, but then he was almost blinded by a sharp pain that emanated from his neck and coursed around his head until it settled in his temples. “Ooph, I think I overdid it today.” He managed to blurt out.

 

“You certainly seem to have done a fair bit of shopping.” Jeff mused, and as he watched Jensen rub his temples he looked concerned. “Can I call someone for you? Or can I get you a drink.” 

 

“Water,” Jensen said between clenched teeth.

 

When the barman put the sweating glass on the bar, Jensen took it and drank half of it in one hit. His head didn’t feel any better but concentrating on something other than Jeff seemed to help. 

 

“Maybe I should go home and lie down for a bit,” Jensen sighed and he felt a crushing sadness although he couldn’t quite explain why. It was like he had lost something he didn’t know he wanted, a missed opportunity. He looked up into Jeff’s chocolate eyes and felt bereft even as the pain sharpened again, even as he forced a smile onto his face, even as he turned to leave. Something could have happened here. Jeff and his smiling eyes, and rugged body. Jensen felt something for Jeff, but he was going to be the one that got away. Anyway what was he thinking about? He had Jared, waiting at home. When he thought of Jared his pain eased and he felt happier and relaxed. He said goodbye to Jeff, and as he left the bar he felt a slight twinge of what might have been, but then he thought of Jared and smiled.

 

13.

 

The day of the wedding dawned and to Jensen’s surprise, it was sunny with only a touch of fog down over the bay. Jensen hoped it would lift by the time of the wedding, but it wouldn’t be a tragedy if it didn’t. 

 

He and Jared had spent the night apart, and Jensen wanted more than anything to talk to him. He wanted Jared to reassure him that he was making the right decision in getting married. He felt strangely hesitant and although he felt great affection for Jared, he didn’t feel the all-consuming love he normally did. Just as he was about to pick up the phone it started to ring. 

 

“Hey there,” came Jared’s voice, but instead of soothing Jensen as it normally did, he felt even more ansty. 

 

“Hey Jared,” Jensen replied, his hand rubbing his neck nervously. “What’s going on?”

 

“Well I’m just going to start getting ready to marry the man of my dreams.” He replied and although Jensen was feeling out of sorts he couldn’t help but smile.

 

“Oh yeah? Must be your lucky day.”

 

Jared chuckled, “yes it is, although I have had a small catastrophe today. Lost my damn watch, just can’t find it anywhere. Wouldn’t mind so much but my dad left it to me so it’s got sentimental value.” 

 

“Oh I’m sorry to hear that, I’m sure it’ll turn up.” 

 

“Yeah me too, at least I hope so, but I sure would have loved to wear it today.”

 

“Your dad will be with you in spirit, regardless of whether you wear the watch or not.”

 

“I know, but he left it to me specifically, it’s always felt special.” Jared said, and Jensen could hear the sadness in his voice.

 

“I’m sorry about your watch, but just remember you are marrying a gorgeous young man, if I say so myself.” He said with a grin. He still had his doubts but he was sure they were just last minute nerves.

 

“You’re damn right. Look the car will be there at 2:30, just make sure you’re in it. I don’t want to be stood up in front or all our family and friends.”

 

Jensen pulled a face; he always felt awkward in front of new people, and he had yet to meet Jared’s family. They had all been too busy to meet before the wedding, and had complained about the short notice, to be fair two months was pretty short notice. Ah well, he would smile a lot and shake a lot of hands and count the minutes until he and Jared could be alone. He was sure that once they were alone together all his doubts would be gone. 

 

The car that came to pick Jensen up was huge and white, not quite a limousine but close. He was dressed in a suit that cost more than he made in six months. It was grey and the material was so fine that it seemed to flow about his body and it felt so soft he almost felt like he was wearing an old pair of sweats. He got into the car with Chad, who looked pretty spiffy himself.

 

“So no last minute changes of heart?” Chad asked and Jensen elbowed him.

 

“Chad it’s my wedding day, can’t you at least be a bit more supportive?”

 

“I am being supportive man. I wouldn’t be a friend if I didn’t make sure that this was what you wanted.”

 

Jensen felt a shiver down his spine, was this what he wanted? Yesterday he had been so sure, but today all he felt was confusion. Last minute nerves, that was all it was, Jensen was sure of it.

 

“This is what I want,” Jensen said with a confidence he wasn’t quite convinced of.

 

The car drove slowly down to Eagle Point, the place they had both chosen to say their vows. San Francisco was a beautiful city, and now that he had lived here for a while Jensen couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. The very best thing about San Francisco wasn’t the beautiful location, or the easy-going, accepting people— it was the fact that Jensen had no bad memories of the place, in fact all he had were good, and a large number of those memories featured Jared.

 

The car arrived at Eagle Point with its breathtaking views over the bay and on towards the Golden Gate Bridge and Jensen could see that Jared was already waiting on the wooden lookout. There were several people waiting with Jared. A distinguished looking woman, still beautiful although she must be the far side of fifty, must be his mother, and the other incredibly tall man must be his brother, Jensen thought. 

 

Jensen felt the flock of butterflies that had taken residence in his stomach go into overdrive as he got out of the car. His hand shook as he closed the door and took a step towards Jared, everyone else paled into insignificance as Jared moved towards him. It was just like having tunnel vision and all he could see was Jared, smiling as if he were the happiest man to ever live. Jensen, for all his doubts, couldn’t help returning that smile. Okay maybe the mad, all consuming love had waned somewhat, but Jared was the best thing that had ever happened to him. 

 

Jensen reached up and kissed Jared on the lips then smiled. 

 

“Glad you made it,” Jared whispered in his ear, pulling him close. 

 

“Did you ever doubt I would?” Jensen could feel Jared shake his head and then pull him until they were standing in front of the minister.

 

The ceremony was short but heartfelt, they hadn’t written their own vows but had decided to go with a traditional ceremony.

 

Later when the minister asked Jensen if ‘He took Jared as his lawfully wedded husband?’ Jensen had no hesitation in replying.

 

“I do.”

Epilogue

No one noticed the dark man standing a little ways down the track watching from the shadows. He squeezed the watch tightly that he held in his hand. His shriveled heart gave a lurch as the pretty blond boy said his vows; that was an unexpected turn. 

 

He looked down at the watch. It was still working, Jensen should be having doubts now that he was no longer compelled to love the other man, but he looked into that other boy’s eyes and the dark man could see the love there, even from this distance. 

 

He was meant to get the boy, Jensen, and the other one, the blond orphan; the agency said they had invested too much money into training them to just let them go. He had nearly caught up with them in Old Stoke but just as he was about to strike, they had left and taken him by surprise. If he was honest, he had let them go, he had let them get a good head start and then he had kept half an eye on their progress but hadn’t bothered to chase them. He had been surprised to realize that he didn’t want to take them… they both seemed so happy. 

 

He remembered when he first took them, Jensen he had whisked away in the deep of the night, so many years ago. And with Chad, he had merely expressed an interest in adopting and they had let a strange man take the boys hand and lead him from the orphanage. 

 

The dark man had thought that he couldn’t feel anything anymore, but today, these young men were making him feel emotions he had considered long dead. He crushed the watch between his long fingers and let the pieces fall to the ground. The agency didn’t know where he was, or where these boys were, and hopefully they never would. It was about time he retired anyway, he had heard that New Zealand was a beautiful country and hopefully out of the reach of the agency.

 

With one last glance at the happy couple the man turned and walked out of their lives forever.

End

 

Thanks to apocalipskiss for the fab art, go see it on LJ


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